4.5 years later

2013

I was living in Provo and attending BYU. My roommate Caitlin and her friend decided they wanted to throw an America themed party at our house. Both of them just so happened to know/invited Adam Child (who they had gone to high school with) to come.

At the party Adam noticed that there were wayyyy more guys than girls (something I also noticed and was happy about 😂 ). Adam was not stoked about this, so he only stayed for twenty minutes (still not sorry about this one Adam ha ha). It was enough time for him to see me and make the connection that I was Cait's roommate and was also helping throw the party--which is a good detail to remember later. I vaguely (possibly) remember meeting him? We did go back later and spotted him in one of my old pics.

2014

Flash forward almost two years. Caitlin had just gotten home from her mission and we were back living in the blue house. One day, Cait thought it would be a good idea to message a bunch of guys she knew about me--telling them to take me out (still can't believe you did that Cait ha ha). I'm pretty sure that nothing came of it? I honestly don't remember. A few months later she did the same thing for my roommate. Adam was one of the people she messaged that time around.

When Adam got the message he thought that the roommate she was referring to was me (she didn't mention anyone by name in the message) as I was the one he remembered from the America party. He was interested in someone else at the time but mentioned that if that changed in the future he'd let her know. Then he forgot about the message and so did I.

2015 + 2016

I graduated and moved to DC (work). He graduated and moved to San Antonio (grad school). We both dated different people. Nothing worked out or was right for either of us.

Then I moved to Salt Lake.

June: 2017

I'd gotten out of a relationship earlier in the year. It had been a rough past few months and I had stayed clear of dating (or even thinking about it) for a while. Meanwhile, Adam was down in San Antonio and was thinking about how he was going to be coming back to Salt Lake for the summer. Out of the blue he randomly (AKA not so randomly) remembered the message that Caitlin had sent him three years before. He hadn't thought about that message since the day he'd received it! So when he did think of it he decided to try and find me on facebook.

He didn't know my name, where I lived, or even if I was still single. He did remember (vaguely) what I looked like and that I was Caitlin's old roommate. After some quick fb stalking, he found me and sent me a message. All the while, figuring that I must have been the girl Cait was referring to.

The day he messaged me just so happened to be the day that I had previously planned to get married (June 10). Coincidence? Probably not. As you can imagine, when I saw the message I wasn't in the highest of spirits. I actually remember reading it and thinking "noooooooo" as I realized that I probably needed to start being open to dating again.

Still, I didn't message him back. Whoops.

Two weeks passed and I had a bit of a nudge to get back to him. I ignored it (and the several nudges that came after that) for another week until one day I had gotten home from work and thought about it again so I pulled out my phone and messaged him back.

He responded pretty quick and the timing of it all ended up being perfect. He'd just gotten back to Utah. 

July 2017 

 Adam called to ask if I was available for lunch on Saturday.  I was running a half marathon that day and didn't want to come straight from that so I proposed a dinner date instead. I didn't think too much of the date until Friday when  I called Caitlin to tell her that her long-lost high school friend Adam Child had called to ask me on a date. I was surprised when she told me she hadn't reached out to him again. How did he remember me or even think to ask me out then? I was intrigued and got a little bit more interested in going on the date.

After my race on Saturday I was tired! I babysat my niece and nephew and then went to play pickeball with some friends in 100 degree weather in the middle of the afternoon...which made me even more tired plus really hungry as I hadn't had time to eat lunch.

I still remember how I felt when I opened the door for our date. He was cute. He also immediately seemed super chill and nice. I was enamored and impressed with how sincere and attentive he was. I was also surprised because I had thought the date would go as well as it was going.

The wait at Ruth's Diner was an hour so we decided to go for a drive all the way up the canyon (at this point I was SO HUNGRY but was doing my best to hide it). We drove and chatted and came back to Ruth's for a great dinner. Adam says that about halfway through he could tell my interest level changed and that it seemed like I was more into the date. He thinks it was because I must have all the sudden realized that he was actually pretty cool, but I know it's because I had finally eaten some food and had lost all of my hanger ha ha (but don't get me wrong I also thought he was really cool).

Near the end of the date we were driving back in a summer rainstorm. I remember thinking that I didn't want it to end. I'd never been on a first date that felt quite like it. I was hoping that he'd ask me out again before he dropped me off and he did just that.

I'll cut to the chase and spare you all the ensuing dates and little mushy details by saying that what has happened since that first date is the best thing that has ever happened to either of us. We spent nearly every day together for the next six weeks before he moved back to San Antonio.

We very quickly and easily began to understand why it had never worked out with anyone else.  It has been incredible to experience and be a part of something that has felt so guided (in every sense of the word) from the beginning. It has all been relatively quick, but it is also right. Our timetable has been unique but we wouldn't have it any other way.


The Proposal

Adam moved back to San Antonio five weeks ago to finish grad school. We are in pretty constant communication, so I definitely noticed when he stopped sharing locations with me. I saw the notification pop up on our texting stream and couldn't help but think about what the reason must be for why he stopped... haha.

Flash forward a week and a half. I had called my mom to chat with her about how things were going. I was curious, so I asked her if Adam had reached out to talk to her and dad yet? Here's the thing about my mom. She's sometimes an open book. It's easy to tell when she's hiding something (sorrrry mom). She told me that Adam hadn't called and I fell for it!  She sounded so convincing! I hung up the conversation and felt a leeetttle disappointed.

The next day (Thursday) at work was pretty slow. I'd gotten everything I needed to get done fairly early in the day. Adam texted me around 2:45 pm to check-in with me. I texted him back that my day was slow and not much was going on. I set my phone down for two minutes and looked back at it to see that he'd sent me a picture.

During the summer Adam would come to my work to have lunch with me during the week. We'd eat outside on this bench/where this picture was taken. I recognized it as soon as I saw the picture and also that he was holding my favorite flowers (sunflowers). For a few moments I thought maybeeee it wasn't him and that it was just someone who had a special delivery for me from him? I walked over to my co-workers desk and asked her what she thought. Her reaction was "he's here!" And then I thought "oh my gosh she's right he's here" ha ha. I quickly walked to the elevator and jumped into one that was full of people. I couldn't help myself and told them all what was happening. One of the guys said to me "is something big about to happen" and I said "I think so!"

A few of them told me they were going to stay and watch... but I barely heard them because I was too busy quickly jolting out of that elevator and walking outside haha.

No one was around! The huge lobby was empty and so were all the benches lining the side of my building. Our bench was at the end so it felt like I was walking forevvver versus only a few seconds to get to it. I rounded the pillar and there he was! I was pretty shocked and am pretty sure I had a few "how did this happen" and "how are you here?" questions. We hugged and it was such a sweet moment. As we were hugging I had the thought of "maybe this is going to happen right now and maybe this is just a fun surprise" but then I saw him putting his hand into his pocket.

He got down on one knee and it was the sweetest moment. I'll never forget the way I felt or how he was looking at me. The ring! When Adam had asked me before about what type of ring I'd like I had told him I wanted somethings simple and flat and that I'd wanted him to pick it out. I really would have loved any ring, but this one... it is like he jumped into my brain and picked my ultimate dream ring. I love it, and even more than that I love that he picked it.

After the initial shock had warn off  it was a chorus of congratulations and pictures and disbelief in what just happened. We started telling our family and friends and it was so fun to share our happiness with the people we care about most. After an hour we headed up Emmigration canyon to eat at Ruth's diner (where our first date was). We couldn't stop smiling or talking about how happy and excited we were. It was a perfect night.

I am still in shock and can't really wrap my head around these last few months. I feel so grateful. SO so grateful. Timing is everything. Adam is more than I ever dreamed of or hoped for or imagined for myself. I love him and am so happy that we are each others finish line.

We're getting married on December 16 in the Bountiful, Utah LDS temple. We couldn't be more excited.

Love you all!!!

Rach

Reaching Outward

One principle has become ingrained in my mind over the past few years more than any other and it is this: as we turn towards Jesus Christ and rely on him we will feel of his love for us.

He is anxious to help us feel His love wherever we are, and He is even more anxious that He be able to manifest that love for us as we serve others. I have one specific time in my life where my belief in this has been strengthened. This experience has left me with an unabashed conviction that we must reach outward to feel a fullness of this love.

In the winter of 2014 I began to develop insecurities about my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. I’d been living in Mbale, Uganda working for an organization focused on sustainable development work. The nature of my work brought me to and through many devastating circumstances that quickly popped the secure and stable bubble I’d been functioning in. I had lived in a developing country before and faced similar situations, but in Africa it became too much to handle and seemingly impossible to comprehend.

I began to be faced with questions that provoked doubt and distanced me from feeling the Love of God for myself and others. Questions like: “If God is real why would he allow people to live and suffer in this way?" "Does God really care about each and every one of us?" and lastly, "how is it possible for him to have a personal relationship with all of us?"  

What I was witnessing on a day-to-day basis are not unfamiliar scenarios to many of you. You don’t have to visit a developing country to face poverty or homelessness. For me, these problems had just never been so up-front and personal. They thus became overwhelming and ultimately led me to doubt that God and Christ were as aware of us as I’d always believed. I began to turn inward and relied on myself for affirmation and strength. The more I turned away the more distant and alone I felt. My faith was not only crumbling at the different types of pain and suffering I was witnessing, but it was faltering because of my own trials and hardships as well.

Elder John Groberg perfectly stated in his general conference address titled “The Power of God’s Love” an innate desire I wasn’t connecting with during this time:

“Since all love emanates from God, we are born with the capacity and the desire to love and to be loved. One of the strongest connections we have with our premortal life is how much our Father and Jesus loved us and how much we loved them. Even though a veil was drawn over our memory, whenever we sense true love, it awakens a longing that cannot be denied. Responding to true love is part of our very being. We innately desire to reconnect here with the love we felt there. Only as we feel God’s love and fill our hearts with His love can we be truly happy.”


This quote reminds us that not only is God’s love everlasting, but it is given to us with the hopes that we might use it to connect with him and others.

So if His love is so easily accessible and seemingly always there, why is it so easy to forget about and feel distanced from? 

Because life is hard. 

Distractions and trails are around every corner. Satan’s plans revolves entirely around trying to push us to forget that we are loved. I have learned that forgetting is always a choice and that distancing ourselves is the first step in that process. It wasn’t until that winter in Uganda that I began to understand this why fighting to feel this love is worth it:

It was my job as the Country Director of the program I was with to take thank you gifts out to each of the partners we had been working with for the last four months. The partner organization was a school located two hours away (by motorcycle) from the city I was staying in. I found a driver that was willing to take me out but I was running late from another project and ended up not arriving at the school until late afternoon. Realizing that I didn’t have much time before it was too dark to catch a ride back to the city I rushed into the school and had a brief visit with the principal. He actually ended our meeting early as he informed me that I needed to leave soon because a big rainstorm was coming. I hustled out to the village where I was able to convince one of the motorcycle drivers to take me back and try and beat the rainstorm. After 30 minutes or so of driving it began to rain. At first it was light enough that we could continue on safely. Five minutes after that it was coming down in buckets. I have never felt rain that heavy or strong. The road became slick and unsafe and my driver slowed. Our clothes were soaked through and I was freezing. After another five minutes he stopped and pulled over. We were a few miles between villages and not another soul was in sight. As he came to a stop I got off,  assuming that he was going to as well. As soon as I got off he started to drive away. I didn’t realize what was happening until he was well on his way. He had left me behind.

All of the sudden it was as if the rain was a little harder and the sky a little bit darker. My feelings and thoughts about my situation plummeted as I realized I didn’t know what I was going to do to get home. I had never felt so alone. The anxiety, depression, and hopelessness I’d harbored over the past months overtook me. I pictured myself then and began to imagine what I must look like to him. I saw myself standing there on that road with him looking down on me; a small speck. 

As my phone battery had died I didn’t have a way to call anyone. I considered walking to the next village but was worried about walking in any direction alone. I stood contemplating for a few minutes before I came to the conclusion that my most immediate solution would be to pray. Helpless and unsure I offered up one of the first prayers I’d said in months asking for help and comfort. It was short and felt awkward and unfamiliar. I began to cry as I weakly asked for something that felt unlikely.

Not even a minute after I ended my prayer I began to faintly hear the whisper of a rumble. I didn’t dare believe it because having taken this road many times before I knew that cars rarely traveled along it. But there it was nonetheless. A little pickup truck, slowly barreling around the muddy, pot-holed corner. The truck hesitantly pulled over and I happily realized it was full of other NGO workers who quickly informed me they were headed to the same place I was. They let me join them and as I hopped into the back of the truck I felt something I will never forget:

Love. 

Washing through me, accompanied by a silent whisper of words that seemed to pierce my soul:  

"I know who you are, I know what you need, I am with you, and I love you." 

I look back at this experience and marvel at the way I was able to feel love from the moment I reached, however feebly, out to him. 

It was a good reminder of something President Thomas S. Monson has promised us: 


 “Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes,” . “It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there”

My little brother is currently serving a mission in El Salvador. He is so happy there. The happiest he has ever been. He has also been experiencing poverty and the lifestyles of many who live in developing countries. A few months ago he wrote home with an experience that I believe perfectly exemplifies how we can recognize that the happiness and peace we feel in our lives comes from the Love of Jesus Christ and is easily manifest as we serve others:   

“This week on Thursday, while teaching Jefferson, Abigael, and Gerardo, in a moment more serious in the lesson (they are kids so there aren't a whole lot of those moments) Jeferson was staring at us. In a pause of the teaching, Jeferson asked, "Why are you guys here? Why did you choose to leave everything to be missionaries?" It left me a little surprised and we let the silence sit a few moments. In response to his question, I asked him, "Jefer what do we teach about?" "The gospel of Jesus" he 
said. Then my companion asked him, "Why do you think we teach about the gospel of Jesus Christ?" and Jefer just said, "You must really love Him."  And I loved his answer. 


“It also gave us the chance to testify about the gospel. It set me thinking though. I came on the mission for a lot of reasons but while I've been here, I found one reason and it's the best reason. I love it here and I have fun and I am happy but I know that those are direct results of the love I have for my savior. There is no other explanation for the intensity of the feelings I have about my mission. I know Christ lives. I know he loves me.”

I have also been asked me to share a little bit about the humanitarian efforts of the church. There are so many different facets of church service. In the short time I have worked In the Humanitarian Department I have been able to witness the church’s incredible ability to relieve, uplift, support, and help so many people all around the world. This can be attributed to all of the faithful members who assist and play parts in this effort. Whether by their own time or their willingness to pay their tithing and fast offerings.

All across the world the church partners with organizations offering financial assistance and support towards causes like homelessness, immigration, mental health, refugee support, transitional support, abuse, youth development, and education. These are organized efforts with partnerships chosen after careful consideration as to where the church’s humanitarian efforts should go.

Often the echo of my mind as I witness these programs in action is a line from my favorite scripture in Mosiah 2:17:

“When you are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”

Members all over the world serve others as they reach out in the ways that they can. They are reminders to me of something that Elder Kearon spoke about in his 2015 conference address entitled:  “Refugee from the Storm.”  

He stated:

“The Lord has instructed us that the stakes of Zion are to be “a defense” and “a refuge from the storm.”11 We have found refuge. Let us come out from our safe places and share with them, from our abundance, hope for a brighter future, faith in God and in our fellowman, and love that sees beyond cultural and ideological differences to the glorious truth that we are all children of our Heavenly Father.

I can’t think about the plight of refugees all over the world without getting emotional. I am saddened by their experiences and situations. I have been able to associate with many of them through my job. They are kind, and good, and full of love. I can’t even begin to comprehend or understand their trials and I don’t necessarily understand why they have to go what they do. But I get to see the help they are receiving and the love that is coming along with it. I get to see some ways that Christ is looking out for them. I am comforted knowing that he is watching over them just as he is watching over you and I.

Elder Uchdtorf captured this when he stated:

“When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.”

I hope I've been able to convey in some small way the love I have for God and my Savior. I know that the life can be hard but I also know that it can be good. I know that trials can seem like too much to bear, but I also know that is why we have been given a Savior. I know that sometimes it seems easier to try and rely on ourselves to push through, but I also know that if we instead rely on the love that is readily available to us we will feel peace, hope, and joy through it all. 

How I Survived College

1. Google It (when you're too embarrassed to ask anyone else) 

 Things like "how to microwave a potato"

2. Call Home (because mom). 

One afternoon I spent 3 hours looking for my keys. I searched every single corner of my house and ended up eventually calling my mom out of frustration. When her first question was if I had checked the key ring yet I was annoyed. Because OF COURSE I'd already checked the key ri..... oh crap.

3. Pranks (the good and bad ones). 
Filling your friends hallway with 1,000 cups of water at 3 am is always a good idea. Making a chore chart for your roommates without telling them it's a joke is not.

4. Having cool roommates/friends

5. Naps (because staying up until 4 am every night is a talent)

6. Being willing to not sleep (because no one remembers the nights they went to bed early). 
don't miss out on fun things because you're worried about being tired the next day.

6. Living Abroad (because mosquito nets and latrines build character). 
The eight months I spent living in Uganda and Nicaragua were the hardest and best of my life. Wouldn't trade em for anything because of what they helped me learn and who they helped me become.

7. Liking my job (even when that one guy asked me to pop his broken finger back in place). 

I worked the same job for four years.  I broke up fights, got sworn at, and didn't have much of a social life during the week. But I loved it because I decided on my first day that I was going to. The rest is history. Find ways to make your job fun, even if it involves a lot of unpleasant things (like telling girls they don't meet dress standards).

8. Stay active (but careful because you might end up playing every sport the intramural program offers)

9. Never say no to free food (even if its pizza from a dumpster). 
There should be no limit to the lengths you go to get free food in college. One time we stuffed my hood with an entire salad in the Cannon Center so I could eat it on the go. A salad. IN MY HOOD.

10. Improvising
I've been a third wheel, a fifth wheel, a seventh wheel, and even a ninth wheel. I've been all the wheels. All I'm saying is that these times could've been a lot crappier than they were. Just choosing to be happy for other people made all the difference.

10. Buckling down when necessary
One time I came back from Thanksgiving break and realized that a paper I was supposed to have been working on all semester was due the next day. I sat down on my couch and wrote for 11 hours straight. I got up twice to go to the bathroom and wrote through the night. I got the paper back two weeks later... 95/100. Moral of the story: Procrastinating is stupid but if you're willing to put in the time when you really have to then things work out. For the most part.

11. Knowing that no one else knows what they are doing either (cuz college). 
Do fun things and don't worry about looking stupid.

12. Choosing to do hard things

I used to sit up at night and imagine what my college experience would be like. In many ways all of my expectations were met. But in more ways than one have I been surprised with how things have turned out. My years at BYU taught me that life is about not knowing, having to change, making the best of things without knowing where you're headed or what's going to happen next. I've had to make so many decisions solely based on the way I felt or that I knew it would eventually be the best thing for me (even though I didn't want it at the time).

These decisions were tough but have panned out to be the best ones I got the chance to make because of how much they taught me and gave me a chance to progress. Last week I moved across the country because (after a lot of thought and prayer) I knew it was the experience that would pull me the closest to Christ. It has been a giant leap of faith but one with which I know will pay off. Ultimately it's been a  decision that I spent five years learning how to make. So if anything I would say I am grateful for the five years at BYU because they prepared me to be brave and start my real life somewhere else. Here is to the next five years, and then the next five after that.

Study Breaks

 Amid all the craziness that encompasses finals week I've tried to take a few hours every day to do something that isn't school.

 Doubles four-square in my parking garage

Chalk Fight with all my favorite pals. Mostly people stuffing chalk in Shea and I's face because it's funny and we will give them a reaction. 

My shower that night was verrrry long. 

All I wanted was to be able to stuff chalk in Eric Banks face. 

 She is the best pal. 

 My last ever Athletics event as a BYU student. Men's Volleyball didn't disappoint + we made it on the jumbo tron (dreams do come true). 

And here is the less fun part of my week. The part where I spent most of my time working on my senior capstone and studying for my other exams. 

 Tomorrow is my last day working for this program and I just don't even want to think about it. 

Birthday ride for Cait with us eventually ending up at our favorite place Slab Pizza. 

Questival

While I was living in Uganda last year Cotopaxi held their first Questival event in Salt Lake City. I had a few friends participate and was overwhelmed with all of their facebook and instagram posts (just like everyone else). My friends Emilee, Summer, and Lizzie actually won the entire contest and got to go on a trip to Ecuador. I logged it away as something I would want to do if ever given the chance. I didn't know they were going to do it in SLC again until about a month before the race and thus hurriedly enlisted all my best pals/people I knew would be as in to the race as I was. Team "Live Llama and Prosper" was born!

Sidenote: Questival is a social adventure race. You're given 24 hours and a list of 300 challenges. The goal is to complete as many challenges as possible in the time frame while still maintaining creativity. Challenges fell across a broad spectrum of categories involving food, teamwork, and the outdoors. The list was released 24 hours before the race began and we had that time to prepare and plan out how we would go about everything. 

Friday was one of the crazier days of my life. I had stayed up until 2 AM the night before with Shea planning out our route. That day I had  a lot of homework (and both jobs) to rush through. As 5:00 PM rolled around I was already exhausted. I remember thinking that I didn't know how I was supposed to get through another 24 hours not sleeping.

From the moment we arrived at the kickoff event to 24 hours later we were doing something. My phone was always in my hand, along with the list of challenges we were supposed to be doing at that moment. The entire goal was to stay in the top 50. You could see what place you were in through the judging app. As teams submitted challenges their ranking would move up or down, depending on how many they had done and if people were voting for their photos or not. We stayed in the top 20 for the first 24 hours and moved down to the top 50 for the last half of the race. Keep in mind that there were 500 teams participating, so it was quite the feat to stay within the top 50.

I didn't end up getting a chance to sleep at all the entire race. There was a moment were I closed my eyes in the back seat as we drove to Logan, but past that I really didn't have a break. It was a top ten day for me as we worked our way around the state of Utah. The best part was being with my pals. We had some hilarious moments together. All of it was captured via the Cotopaxi Questival App. Link to our teams page HERE

Some of my favorite moments

• Wakeboarding on Utah Lake
• Throwing a Pie in Eric's face
• Yodeling at the top of my lungs in a public place
• Performing Street Magic
• Sharing a bag of donuts with a policeman
• Hiking to the Wind Caves in Logan Canyon
• Getting Tyler Hawes to re-tweet our team
• Doing the Ellen Dance Dare in the Library
• Watching the sunrise in Idaho

Some of my more cringe-worthy moments

• Eating three beatles
• Jumping into Logan Canyon River with my clothes on (ICE COLD) 
• Eating an entire can of wet cat food with my team
• Hiking to the Wind Caves/running down with my bad knee
• Crashing a wedding at the Logan temple
• Eating nothing because we didn't have time. But then we did eat it was the crap food for all the challenges. SO MANY DONUTS AND PIZZA AND ICE CREAM. 
• Accidentally forgetting to film while Shea ate the worm... and telling her that she had to eat another one. Whoops. 
• Freezing at the State Capital at 3 AM while singing the Utah State Song
• Stumbling into a very formal choir concert while dressed in our gear. SO MANY rude looks. 

VERY FAVORITE MOMENT

• Making THIS Music Video 

We ended up placing 19th out of 498 teams. It was definitely a day I will never forget and would do all over again if I could. Also, I slept for what felt like a week after it all ended. I have never been more tired.